Have you ever woke up in the morning, and before your feet ever hit the floor, you have a feeling of ‘doom & gloom’ (as I call it) for no reason what so ever? Have you ever laid in bed at night and couldn’t go to sleep because you mind would not shut off? You lay there and worry about you daughter leaving home and starting college next week. The next thing you know, some creep has followed her home and beat and raped her.
The worry of her leaving for college and being on her own is real, but your mind has created the later part and expected the very worse to happen. Now you will never get to sleep, because your thoughts begin to race and you can’t shut them off. If so, you may suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Worrying about your children leaving home and going off to college is normal. When your thoughts obsess on your worries and you exaggerate them and they start disrupting your life, that is not normal. Generalize Anxiety Disorder (also know as GAD) can disrupt your life in many ways. I know because I have been suffering from it for some time now.
Before I was diagnosed with GAD, I wondered what was wrong with me? Why could I not just relax? There are times when nothing is going on in my life that should cause me to feel this way. I always feel uptight and unable to truly relax, and waiting for the ball to drop. I haven’t always been this way, and it is very frustrating for me!
If you have GAD or know someone that has GAD, have you every said to yourself or them “just snap out of it, don’t worry”. That’s easier said that done for someone who has it. Let’s say that your husband just got laid off work and you are worried about how you all are going to pay for your daughter to go to college. She is 10 and still has 7 or 8 years before she will go to college.
It is normal for you to be concerned and worry some, but you know that it will be alright in the long run, after all that is years away from now. You don’t obsess on it to where it controls your life and your every waking thought. To someone with GAD they may think about it day and night, they can’t control their thoughts or shut them off. The worry takes on a life of it’s own and consumes everything they do.
This thought pattern may disrupt their lives. They obsess about it, it causes them to not be able to sleep or stay asleep. Those thoughts & worries disrupt their home life and their productivity at work. They can’t concentrate on anything for very long. This is not considered normal worry.
Living with General Anxiety Disorder is not easy at times. I jump at the slightest noise. My husband will joke and ask me, “are you doing something you are not supposed to be doing”? Of course I give him one of those ‘you know where you can go’ looks! I also am more irritable than I used to be, which leads to guilt because I shouldn’t be so irritable and shouldn’t let this thing control my life!
There are some steps that you can take to get hold of your ‘disorder’ or at least help you to better cope. Here are some things that usually help me.
- Take A Walk- Taking a walk outside, breathing in the air, looking at the trees and sun on my face ALWAYS makes me feel more relaxed.
- Read A Really Good Book- I have always loved to read. Reading a really good book ‘usually’ takes my mind off the ‘real’world, and for that period of time I am somewhere else.
- Call & Talk To Someone Special To You- You would want to talk to someone who makes you feel good, someone you have a bond with, someone that loves you no matter what! In this case I usually always call my daughter. She is always so honest and has a genuine ‘sunshine’ personality. I sometimes call my grandmother and she always knows the right thing to say to me. They make me smile and ‘all is well with the world,’ if only for a short while.
- Deep Breathing- A friend show me this relaxation technique. Sit up straight with you back against a the back of the chair. Place you hands on your lap, with palms up. Take a deep breath through you nose, counting to 15-20. Then exhale through your mouth slowly. Do this 10 times or so. I guarantee you this will calm and relax you.
If you have GAD, you know that some days are better that others. Plus if you have another mental illness on top of the GAD it only seems to magnify and you can feel trapped. There are medications you can take for GAD that will make you feel better or may not. That is something you can talk with to your doctor.
Remember that your disorder is nothing to be ashamed of! You can control your thought pattern with a little practice. Don’t give up and be sure to talk with your friends and family and I am sure that they will to understand. It would probably not be a good idea to talk with someone that is a big worrier also. This could make the situation worse. I know at times my husband thinks I am just bitching about things, but it really stems from fear and anger within myself.
What do you do to try to relax when the anxiety takes hold of you? Does it help & for how long?
Never Give Up!
(picture 1 by Sleepy Demon, picture 2 by darkmatter, picture 3 by Bottled Void)
I used to suffer from it but I think I’m cured now.
maybe I will talk about it on my blog in March (as a part of a link-up on another blog). what helped me the most (not only to relax but eventually cure it) was using some cognitive therapy techniques. I would write my worried thoughts in my notebook and then think about the real possibility of what may happen. I tried to look at it from a different perspective. and then I would also write down more reality based thoughts. I did that a few times a day for 6 months. and my life changed. 
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I am glad you are better now!
It can be pretty rough. I also write in a journal and that does help some. Looking at it from a different perspective is a good idea! I have tried that, but probably not as often as I should.
just don’t give up.
my mother is haunted by similar thoughts as you are but she is not willing to do anything about it, saying it is already too late to change anything. I want to help her but I don’t know how.
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Some people feel ashamed to admit something is wrong, even when they know there is. Keep talking to her and it may make a difference one day. I don’t have those thoughts as often as I used to. If I do I quickly recognize them for what they are only thoughts (not real) and I try to think about something else.
Thanks for sharing your story – we have a history of mental illness in our family so I am pretty vigilant about watching my own behavior and issues, my worst is the insomnia, but you’re right – reading is my sanity saver!
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I have long history of mental illness in my family too. It’s better when you try to deal with it and are determined to live life and not let is swallow you whole. It can though if you let it. I suffer from insomnia myself. It is really hard for me to fall asleep and when I do I wake up every hour, most nights! Yep reading and writing is a ‘sanity saver’. Thanks!
joining to the club of family history of mental illness.
I also suffered from insomnia but I take some pills that help me sleep (not sleeping pills though). doctors say they shouldn’t be addictive but I’ve got no idea how I will get myself to sleep when I stop taking them.
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I can relate to this post on so many levels. About 12 years ago, I suffered through a pretty traumatic experience. Very soon after, I began to suffer from severe anxiety (and found out many years later that it was the first sign that I was developing PTSD – or experiencing the first parts of it anyways). I lived in a kind of fear that seems quite surreal when I look back on it now. I became plagued by panic attacks in the strangest places like the parking lot of my college when I arrived for class – I ended up sitting in the car for a couple of hours, afraid to get out and go into the building, afraid to start the car and leave. I knew what the source of my fear was (an abusive marriage that I’d just found my way out of). I also knew, despite the panic attacks, that the person or events I was so afraid of weren’t possible, but it didn’t make the fear disappear.
Now, 12 years later, the attacks are quite rare, but they do still happen. It is something I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to completely overcome. Just when I feel I have, just when I’m confident that I’ll be able to live the rest of my life without fear, another attack happens. There used to be triggers, but then there are times when no trigger is discovered.
One thing I do know is that through the experience, I’ve learned far more than I would have liked about anti-depressants (which practically EVER doctor wants to put me on within moments of talking to me). I’m not depressed, I just have anxiety. If you’re a new sufferer of this disorder, be cautious of those. Sometimes they help, but when they start to make you feel weird or messed up, it may be time to wean yourself off.
The most successful practices I found in helping to relieve the anxiety were practicing yoga and meditation. These helped to calm my mind and although difficult at first, the breathing exercises (as you’ve mentioned above) that come along with yoga and meditation, really help to clear those fearful thoughts from your mind. Another thing that helped was to start taking control of those things that I feared most. The more in control I am of my life and what goes on in it, the decisions I make to ensure I don’t end up in situations that I feel uncomfortable in and also surrounding myself with people who not only believe that my anxiety is real, but who can empathize instead of making fun of it or blowing it off….all that has helped the most.
Great post Angela. I recently experienced one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had and feel as though I’ve started the healing process of it all over again. If you ever need to talk to someone who understands…I believe you have my #
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Yep it sounds like you know exactly what I mean. I am sorry that you suffered some really bad things in your marriage. Really I am! No woman, man or child should have to go through something so traumatic. I know you didn’t say what exactly, but I can imagine! I am not new to the anxiety disorder, it has just gotten worse. I used to have panic attacks myself. Now they are rare. It’s ironic that you should mention going to school and just sitting in the car and afraid to get out or to leave. Been there done that many times. Sometimes in those situations it doesn’t matter what you know is real… your emotions are not having any of it! It is very important, like you said, to be around people that empathize with you. I have had a few people in my own family that just blow it off and act like it’s nothing. I have never done yoga, but have heard a lot of talk about it. I may give that a try too. I do suffer from chronic depression too and used to take anti-depressants that never really done me any good. I don’t take them now. I see no sense in putting something in my body that is not going to work any way. Thank you for all you comments Brandina, I appreciate them.
I want to hug you both! I felt like I was reading about myself. so many people suffer by depression and anxiety disorders but it is still so neglected by the society. I think that we should talk more openly about it so we could help each other and especially those who do not know what is “wrong” with them.
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Omg. I posted about my social anxiety just yesterday on my blog and got so SO many messages from people saying they’ve always felt that way too.
I find that deep breathing or talking to my husband helps me when I start feeling panicked or anxiety.
Great post!
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I haven’t experienced anxiety like this, but mental illness and depression has been frequent in my family. I think over the years I’ve been amazed at how many people think you should be just be able to “feel better” if you want to, as if it’s not real. That heaps even more pressure and difficulty on you instead of being helpful. I use relaxation techniques and yoga to keep me balanced, and I make sure I have people to talk with who understand me and my situation. Thanks for the great post.
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That is tough but I am glad you have made it through it and you are doing better.
Take care!
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Wow, so many people suffer from depression. I am so glad to see that you are better.
Stopping by from the 100 Comments event.
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passeggiata rilassante, bel bagno caldo, il mare, il sole, la mia cagna, le piccole cose, profondi respiri, crochet, dormire, giocare, fare ciò che è politicamente scorretto per me in quel momento, cosa da evitare: il pensare.
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What an excellent post about a subject so many of us would prefer not to talk about.
I know there are so many that are shamed to be diagnosed with a mental illness. There is nothing to be ashamed of, we are all human and things happen. Over coming obstacles in life only makes you stronger and better equipped to handle what comes your way.
Angela, this was thoughtful, sensitive, and informative-congratulations for getting through it. Thank you for posting.
Peace and good to you.
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Thank you! Thank you all for taking the time to read my post and comment on it too!
I had some anxiety attacks during my sixth pregnancy and just breathing through them or taking a nap seemed to help.
Glad you were finally diagnosed and have coping mechanisms in place now.
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Thank you for sharing. I have much to learn about mental illnesses.
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wow thanks for this thoughtful post and for sharing your story with us.
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Everyone expects everyone else to act exactly like them so it’s frustrating when people assume and just say things like snap out of it. Maybe the more people talk about it the more people will realize everyone is different and needs to handle things differently. Thank you for sharing!
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That is true, people do handle things differently…and what works for one person may not for the next. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment.
I’ve not suffered from Anxiety but have been through depression which can really affect my moods. I always got tired of people telling me to “cheer up” and “snap out of it”. Great tips here Angela! No one else can really understand it unless they have experienced it themselves!
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Yes, that is true! Unless they have been there, they can not know how it feels. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
For me, it’s a matter of learning to trust God in all situations.
Thank you for sharing and being open about GAD. I know someone reading this will feel empowered. But the tips you gave will help anyone who is stressing out.
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My husband suffers from GAD. He walks and practices deep breathing. If it is a really tough time, he has medication he can take.
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I know it is not a fun thing and some days and situations can be worse that others. Thank you for stopping by!
Whenever I feel fear or anxiety gripping, I quieten myself, pull out my Bible and pray.
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Great advice even if we aren’t suffering from clinical anxiety per se.
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I liked your ending “Never give up!” Exercise and prayer are my main destressors.
Very honest and powerful post. I don’t suffer from anything like that, but I do sometimes stress and stay up worrying. Being a business owner can do that to you sometimes! You asked what we do for our anxieties. I pray. I just start praying for God to take care of my worries and then I start praying for other people who I know are going through tough times. Usually I end up falling asleep while praying and wake up refreshed. I wish you well and pray that you will have some sort of peace in this. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you.
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It’s hard to see people suffer from depression. It’s good to know what to do to find help.
When I start to feel anxious I listen to some music or watch TV and that works every time. I get anxious when I am planning a big event or think about something really important. I am a worrier and I get it from my mom but hopefully it doesn’t get worse with time. Good luck!
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Listening to music is a good way to relax… depending on what kind it is. Yep, I am a worrier too… I just get carried away!
Great way to explain GAD and what some non-drug things to do for it! Thank you so much!
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Love your honesty. I do not know anyone personally who suffers from GAD but it is great that you can get awareness out and help someone else who may find you here dealing with the same thing. Great job.
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Thank you! I think some people don’t like talking about things like that. I don’t really blame them, but sometimes it is necessary. Thank you for stopping by.
I have never heard of this disorder… I have probably experienced these types of symptoms once in a while in my life but not pervasively… but when I can’t relax – this sounds weird but I HAVE to talk out my anxiety with like 3-4 people… I usually call my mom, talk to hubby, my sister and leave a long voicemail for my friend. I get it ALL out and then I feel better. I know SOME people don’t like to talk about issues but I find just SAYING IT out loud makes me realize and analyze which parts are rational and which sound a little “crazy”
And, getting feedback from these people I trust is also helpful! 
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I know that talking to someone you can trust helps a lot. Sometimes when I do say things out loud some of the things do sound crazy, you are right about that. I have said things and then later on said to myself “what in the world was that!” I think most people experience a little anxiety here in there, but most not to the extent I am speaking about. I keep a journal and that helps!
I’ve never heard of GAD but I think I’ve had it. Just laid in bed and couldn’t turn my mind off. I tried to imagine a white, blank blackboard (as some suggested that to me), but when my mind was closed and it was black dark, it was easier to imagine a black one that blended into nothingness… still, it didn’t work very well. I did, however, begin to learn to let my mind relax. Did you ever lay in bed and try to think of nothing? Ain’t easy! I’ve learned to turn the TV and computer off at LEAST 30 min. before bedtime. Stay quiet and read a book. It helps a lot. Very best, Deb (P.S. Those pop-ups are really annoying. Sorry.)
When I lay in bed and try to think of nothing… makes it worse. Then I think of more! I read every night before bed, it relaxes me (a little). Thank you commenting. Could you tell me what is popping up?
I cry. I don’t know why but whenever I have an anxiety attack, if I just allow myself to cry for a few minutes I always feel a lot better! Sometimes a good long nap is a necessity to overcoming the anxiety, as well!
Thank you! I know sometimes a good cry makes you feel better! It kinda washes it away for a little bit.
This is great info! I think we live in such an uptight society, everyone needs to learn how to take a deep breath and relax! These relaxation techniques are great for anyone who is feeling stressed out, not just someone who has GAD
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I agree with that and I am a little guilty of that also. I have to remember to just breathe sometimes! Thanks for stopping by.
This is some really great information! Thank you for sharing this!
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Your welcome! Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment.
I sometimes get anxiety, where I cannot stop my mind and settle down. I am always go go go and super busy. I find that taking 5-10 minutes to sit quietly and just breathe calms me down. Thanks for for talking about this!
It is hard sometimes to remember to slow down and really relax. I think that is a problem I have. I have a hard time trying to relax! Well not always, but most of the time.
I don’t know anyone who’s going through this disorder but this is definitely very helpful!
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This is an interesting post. Sometimes I find turning off the phone helps me. We can be so connected with technology that you have to have times where you can just think.
Yes, technology can weigh you down and taking a break every once in a while is a GOOD thing! Thanks!
I’ve experienced a few anxiety attacks before. They are no fun. I do deep breathing to relax and when I wake up in the night I read my Bible or another book to relax to go back to sleep.
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I’m not sure if I have this disorder, but one thing that keeps my anxiety at a low is to make sure I get my Bible reading in on a regular basis. Otherwise, Satan really plays tricks with my thoughts.
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Reading your bible can be relaxing, although I admit I haven’t read it lately like I should. Thanks for stopping by!
I’ve had this problem a number of times. My watching the ID channel too much doesn’t help either.
When I get jumpy my husband always says, “It is me. Your husband. I live here to remember?”
I found yoga especially hot yoga to be helpful to me but really any exercise. I try using talking about it as a last resort because I found I would get wrapped up in as if it was my whole story and unable to take a step back from it. I do find it annoying when someone says, “Just forget about it” or “Just snap out of it.” If it was that easy don’t you think I would’ve tried it. Ugh. The racing mind the inability to stop is so frustrating but people’s reaction can be more so.
I am not sure what the ID channel is. That is funny what your husband says, but it probably helps some to calm you down when he reminds you. I know what yoga is but I am not sure what ‘hot yoga’ is. I have thought about doing yoga, but never have. I should try it! It always helps when I talk about what’s worrying me, but I can understand about not being able to step back. Especially if you just dwell on what is worrying you.
No one really knows what it like unless they have been there. So saying just snap out of it is a little callous, in my opinion. Best wishes and thank you for taking time to comment!